Realized the Mercy in Crisis

In an extended crisis, the person in crisis does not feel like it's an emergency. It is a mercy of God that it is so, otherwise the stress would be intolerable.

For example: I have been sleeping in the back of our SUV with my mother for the past month. Our pretty little Airstream started to smell like mold only two weeks after we bought it because faulty construction resulted in water damage. Woohoo! Way to go, Airstream!

Anyways, because the mold has only been getting worse and makes us feel like poo being in it, we've been sleeping in the car. And seriously, I sleep better in that vehicle than I do the trailer. Sleep is when the body heals; but when sleeping in mold, my body can't heal because it has to ward off an attack.

So even though my life has been in such complete upheaval that I've been forced to sleep in my car, it all feels perfectly normal and rational to me. I don't feel the chaos so much as on outside would think. I've gotten used to my life being wholly unstable, and I think that's the mercy of God to me.

It's like being aboard a ship in a month-long storm. At first, the rocking and tossing is incredibly hard on the body. But then, slowly, the feet know how to stand and how to walk in harmony with the moving floor. Occasionally, I become tripped up by an unexpected wave, but I know how to roll with the motions. I have sturdy sea-legs.

But what happens when the storm abates and I find myself on dry-land again? Will I instantly adjust? Or will steady ground seem like it's moving and swaying, like it is the unstable situation? I think God alone can answer that question, and I just have to wait for the answer a while yet longer.